How to Change Yourself and Reach Goals

How to Change Yourself and Reach Goals

Did you know that one-third of Americans feel dissatisfied with life? If you are one of the many people who fall into this category, you may wonder how you can begin to feel satisfied with your life.

The Ted Talk, How to stop screwing yourself over by Mel Robbins talks about how you can start enjoying life and become the person you truly want to become. As usual, I suggest you watch the video as my skills as a blogger are inferior to any outside source I use.

The first thing you need to do is ask yourself what you want. Sound selfish, it doesn’t need to sound good to others, but make sure it’s what you really want. For example, you may say I want to exercise everyday so I can become healthy. However, what you actually want is to become skinnier and more in shape so that attractive co-worker finally realizes you exist. Another example: you tell yourself you want to quit smoking because it’s bad for your health. However, the real reason may be you want to quit because you want to be alive to see your grandchildren grow up. Whatever your goal and reasoning behind the goal you have, be honest with yourself. If you aren’t, you probably will not reach your goal because the reason you tell yourself is not enough motivation to change.

The next thing you need to do is erase the word “fine” from your vocabulary. When someone asks you how you are doing and you say, “fine”, is that actually how you feel? Are you fine? If you are fine that means that you don’t have anything to change. We even tell ourselves that we are fine. We’ve convinced ourselves. You may say, “My work just promoted someone less qualified, but I’m fine.” Or “I don’t have enough money to pay for everything I need this month, but I’m fine, I just won’t eat for a week.” When you tell yourself you are fine, you are telling yourself nothing needs to change and you don’t need to find better solutions.

The third thing you need to do is realize that everyday you have ideas that can change your life and your world. Millions of ideas and thoughts flood through your brain throughout the day, even while you are asleep. Some of these thoughts and ideas are meaningless, but some of these ideas are constructive and life changing. Ever had moments when you figure out the solution to a problem you’ve had for weeks and you wonder why you didn’t realize it earlier? I call these “duh” moments. Usually when this happens, I realize I’ve been too busy saying I’m fine until I can’t convince myself anymore and I hit a crisis. Then I start to think of ideas and solutions. Imagine if you were to think of solutions and ideas before you hit the crisis moment. Life would be much easier.

The last thing you need to know is you are never going to feel like changing. Unfortunately, our brains and body are wired to make us creatures of habit. We have two speeds in our brain: autopilot and emergency brake. Your brain prefers autopilot. Autopilot is anything you do repeatedly; waking up at the same time, taking the same route to work, or not exercising daily. When you do something that is not in your normal routine, your brain hits the emergency brake. So how do you get out of autopilot and make a change? It’s simple: FORCE YOURSELF. Now I said simple, not easy. You need to use force to pull that emergency brake in your brain. Force yourself to do something not in your normal routine. You want to get more done in the mornings? Set your alarm for 30 minutes earlier than normal and FORCE yourself to get out of bed the FIRST time your alarm clock goes off.

Another thing to consider is when you feel bored, your needs for exploration and growth aren’t being met. How do you meet these? Get out of your comfort zone, get out of your head, and get past your feelings. Your problem isn’t ideas, the problem is forcing yourself to act on those good ideas.